Looking Back but Focused Forward

I've been looking back at the Pro XCT #1 race after having a couple days to digest the whole experience. I must say after reading Jason's post on the Team Jamis website (see link on the left) about the weekend, I couldn't have said it myself. So instead of trying, I'll steal a few of his lines that wrap it up perfectly. 

"Every race is a priority. Not every race can be a top goal but there are no throwaways when it comes to expectations and desire to perform, to push yourself, and to achieve.

So whether its your first pro race ever (for new recruit Kelsy), first XC with a new team (Ben), a wake up call that you’re getting old (Sager) or simply your first XC of the year in your new national champ kit (Rotem) expectations are high. When you don’t meet them – be it from a paper results stand point, or from a personal desire to push yourself – there’s a let down. Not a loss of momentum, but just not the instant feedback we all want as products of modern instant satisfaction.Because no matter how you end up, on paper or within your own journey, its hard work out there."  - Jason Sager    Thanks Jason! 

Start of the Bonelli short track race

Furthermore, on Sunday while preparing for the short track race I received a text from my dad (who has just discovered the text message!). I was once again a ball of nerves and still had a little hangover of disappointment from the previous day's result, but parents are really good at keeping things in perspective. His text simply read: "Eat up everything you are experiencing. Success is sometimes just doing it while giving your best". Just like his subtle messages given in the past, he once again reminded me that the journey is far more meaningful than the destination. This is something I try to hold close to my heart for my life in general, so much that I had a symbol inked on my body for a daily reminder. But as mentioned in the last post, as Brandon's loyal support is sometimes taken for granted while things are easy, the details of achievement (AKA the destination) sometime steal the focus of the big picture.

I guess the simplest result of all this deep thinking comes down to this: I didn't meet my expectations in the XC race, I did better than expected in the super D, and I crashed out of the short track race. My first pro races are under my belt, I learned multiple things in each race, and I'm doing the best I can with my current situation. But I'm not lowering the bar when it comes to personal expectations and therefore need to continue to improve my fitness and bike handling skills to acquire that coveted paper result and at the same time remember keep my focus toward the next race without forgetting to take a look around to appreciate the scenery!

Nurses Jason and Brandon cleaning up my new battle wound!

Short tack wound, Day 2